A website with things on it!
February 7, 2013 2 Comments
It’s my friend’s birthday. I don’t have Photoshop, nor am I any good at it. But since I like fiddling around on my computer, I found out a while back that you can do some pretty neat things with Preview.
My friend’s in a band. He plays the bass. Get it?
September 29, 2012 Leave a comment
Click to enlarge
Look at Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman laugh it up in good company. Mel Brooks is either sad or not having any of it. He might get betrayed by his best friend, then be publicly told he’s not funny.
September 13, 2012 Leave a comment
This was a real surprise. I get messages from Jay-Z all the time, but that’s ‘cuz we boyz. I never hear from Beyoncé. She probably thinks I’m not ready for this jelly.
May 9, 2012 Leave a comment
Apparently, “beard” is some sort of sexual euphemism. For the record, I don’t mean that.
The About page has this picture of me.
Full disclosure: I look like this, now. There’s hair in places it wasn’t before. Also, exposed arms.
May 8, 2012 1 Comment
Deep inside my soul, I feel like my degree’s gonna be worthless. Ignorance is bliss; I hate being happy.
PoliSci majors in the(ier parent’s) hizz-ouse!
Thanks to xkcd.
March 27, 2012 1 Comment
Geraldo’s hoodie argument is bullshit, even if he did specifically warn Black and Latino kids. A kid was murdered. Don’t blame it on the clothes he was wearing.
I had a joke about how I don’t wear hoodies to seem less threatening. (Haha! I’m not a threatening person to begin with!) Geraldo took that joke away from me. Fuckin’ asshole.
February 13, 2012 Leave a comment
I get bored. And when I get bored, I do some pretty weird things.
I get productively unproductive. Ha — See what I did there!?!?
So I end up doing stuff like making rubber band balls.
Exhibit A:
This one has a paper core.
Exhibit B:
This one’s got an aluminum foil core. It’s smaller because the foil packs in better than paper.
Oh yeah, I’m cool.
Exhibit C:
Now this is a respectable motherfuckin’ rubber band ball. I made it the summer before I started college, with all the free time in the WORLD. I made the other two ‘cuz I realized that the big one’s to hefty to be bouncing around an apartment.
Thanks for also being bored. I’m not apologizing this time if you were looking for porn. You should’ve known by now.
February 12, 2012 Leave a comment
It’s Sunday. It’s the “day of the Lawrd,” as my 2nd grade (very Irish) teacher-nun would say. (Catholic school’s fun, guys. You should try it.) Anyway, I’ve been trying to get work done for most of the day. I need to finish JFK’s A Nation of Immigrants, write an essay for a Creative Writing course, and compose an essay for my Japanese class. (College is fun, guys. You should try it.) But this soccer game’s been just… so… exciting. That, and I’m kind of a lazy fuck.
To paint a better picture, at this moment Real Madrid’s up 3-2 against Levante. 64th minute. Arouna Koné just pulled one back for the visitors, right after Cristiano Ronaldo capped off a hat trick with (wait for it) a tomahawk of a homing laser strike that descended with the velocity of a blazing meteor and left a poleaxed ‘keeper lying on his back to petition the heavens for mercy! Did you like that? I’m submitting this post for the Most Outrageous Hyperbole in Sports Writing Award.
[ed: As I was writing that stuff above, Karim Benzema bent a gorgeous ball into the goal. 4-2. Hooray!]
(Translation: I’m a lazy fuck who likes soccer and is minoring in Creative Writing.)
Still not getting any work done. So…
Boredom Picture Time!!!:
I don’t like wearing hats. But it gets cold in NYC, so I gave in. This is one hat I own. I normally don’t wear it. But…
… hey! It’s reversible! And purple!
This hat, I like. It just has the best fit, so it’s the one seeing the light of day the most often.
It’s not reversible, though. Sad face.
Jesus — This one’s just fuckin’ ridiculous. It belongs on a man who’s 2x bigger and who’s served 2x more prison sentences than me.
Plus, it’s not even reversible. Bull…shit.
But I keep it around ‘cuz it can do this.
Thank you for reading, Person. And I’m sorry if you were looking for porn.
January 21, 2012 Leave a comment
This is one of the most schlarly and well-researched articles I’ve ever read on Wikipedia. But it could be a bit more thorough.
Seems legit.
I want Larry King back.
